maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydney construction site.The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling."To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."He ...

David staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That...

Children Writing About the Ocean... 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7) 4) - S...

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was...

The Polish Divorce   A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on ...

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and...

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual....

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third...

A young engineer was leaving the office at 3.45 p.m. when he found the acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand."Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?""Certain...