maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

> Dear Citizens,>> Due to the current financial situation caused by the> slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a> scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early> retirement.>> This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People> Early).>> Persons selected to be...

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish.  He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called...

The Texas Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help,and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees, and how much you pay them," demanded the agent."Well," replied the rancher, "there's my farm hand, who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him...

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking tolunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish.." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, w...

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain tithe baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it....

One day, there was a catastrophic event which caused all living creatures on earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to heaven. God approaches and says, 'I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by ...

Oil and Fish Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."

Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finklestein l...

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push."Not a chance" says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed."Who was...

CINDERELLA was now 95 years old.After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship..One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fai...