I am reminded of the senseless pain that we inflict on each other and when it comes to power, fame and wealth, what is in a person, like who they really are is revealed. Squabbling over money brings out the insides. Often, people's traumatic past (s) enter into their present moment disrupting and offsetting what is profitable & abundant. Resentment is the culprit. Poverty of spirit will always rob, destroy and interfere with all good. Regarding wealth, inheritance etc., I am giving to my children their portion now so I can see them enjoy it and they see me seeing them doing so. On the way, I include random people here and there as well. Naked I come, naked I go

I serve one master. One. Who is the decision maker? That is the only person I ever want to talk to. I don't want to hear about it, figure it out, tell me your decision. Been there done that not going to do it again!

I am blessed to work with so many wonderful estate representatives. I have declined to work with those who are the appointed ones yet included other family members in the decision-making process. The same applies to co-trustees and co-executors. The only exception is if they agree on who will be working with me on the sale of real estate. 

We recently updated our wills and make an effort to eliminate any disputes. We have a provision that excludes any beneficiary that legally disputes our wills. We have been advised that personal property can cause more disputes than the real estate.

Lots of questions here Andrew.

1) When working with heirs, I try to keep it about selling the house and honoring the person who lived there. I try to keep the emotions out of it if possible. Once the house closes, the money usually goes to an estate. I don't get involved in who gets what. Thus far, I've not had an issue.

2) My husband & I have each lost a parent and the sibling got along fine. Of course, we didn't have a lot to inherit. Other relatives outside of my siblings has some issues but thats another story for another day. In my opinion, if you get anything it's a blessing so be grateful. 

3) Yes our kids know what to expect. We hope we can take care of ourselves in our old age and not have to rely on our children.

4) No, we probably won't be leaving anything to charity. We give plenty now. If there's anything left, I'm certain we'll leave it to our children and grandchildren.

Didn't watch the video but I agree with Candice. Pick ONE person that I will speak with for updates, etc. 

I agree with the video.

A heir with a "producer mindset" is the best type of heir!

AND whatever one can do to promote that type of mindset to potential heirs is of utmost importance over whatever wealth is passed on. IMO

I don't bickering.  Nope, someone else can deal with it.

I think the worst transaction years ago was with a property where the parent passed, and all the siblings fought and fought.  

I treat probate sales in much the same manner as working with a divorce situation.  I figure out who is the decision maker or most dominate person and make sure they are appeased.  I deal with each person or all parties as an individual and create a personal contact and let them know that I'm on their side.  It is sometimes like being a Lion Trainer.

I learned to listen only to the authorize person to sign on behalf of the estate.

I look at my will once a year when filing taxes to see what has changed in my life over the last 365 days and take note and/or action if necessary.

Extended family members stop talking to you when you honor someone wishes to the tee.  Family think they know what the deceased person had in mind yet that are not privy to the will unless it is recorded in county records.

We deal with a lot of estates, most work remarkably smoothly.

As far as my estate, it could be a mess, hopefully the kids will figure it out without any problems.