After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly working his hand down over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh stopping at the top of her leg. He continued in the same manner on the other side, then stopped suddenly and rolled over and starting watching T.V. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving woice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?" He said, "I found the remote". 06/20/2009

To date, the United States has had 44 Presidents, 45 by my count: See my post, "The 45th President", (linked below).  http://activerain.com/blogsview/921232/the-45th-president-surprise- It all started with this guy here. For some reason, some people get it into their heads, that they want to lead a country. Since that first one, hundreds of aspirants apply for the job of Chief Executive of the U.S. of America every 4 years. And every four years there's the usual mix of film stars, generals, politicians and assorted nut-cases applying for the top job. Those with the deepest pockets and the best "star-appeal" get short-listed. Eventually, the one with the best "sound-bites" and the one who manages not to trip on his tie too often or make gaffes, ends up with the "prize". Occasionally, th... 06/20/2009

When I posted my first scribbles back in February, there was no way I could ever see myself achieving this milestone. Bear with me, this will be the LAST accomplishment I'll comment on, (unless I get to 110,000), but I guess, at 100,000 points, it's worthy of a passing notation. And so, I'll touch on it briefly and reflect, and get on with my life. Looking back at some of my first posts, they were pretty infantile. I really didn't know what the hell I was doing. It's been quite a learning curve and I still don't understand all      the nuances of blogging. I tried watching the "old-timers"          to see what they did, but that didn't wash. Eventually,                I developed my own style, and that seems to work. I've been told that my posts are easy on the eyes,          because I ... 06/20/2009

DEAR TECH SUPPORT, Last year I upgraded from BOYFRIEND 5.0 to HUSBAND 1.O and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry departments, which operated flawlessly under BOYFRIEND 5.0. In addition, HUSBAND 1.0 uninstalled many other programs such as: *ROMANCE 9.5 and *PERSONAL ATTENTION 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: *NBA 5.1 *NFL 3.0 and *GOLF CLUBS 4.1 CONVERSATION 8.1 no longer runs, and HOUSEKEEPING 2.6 crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. what can I do? Signed, DESPERATE! DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind that BOYFRIEND 5.0 is an entertainment package, and HUSBAND 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithought you lovedme:html and... 06/18/2009

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and so decided to hire a surrogate father to start their family. On the appointed day the proxy was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and left for the office. "Well I'm off now; the man should be here soon".  Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photgrapher happened to knock on the door, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain', Mrs. Smith cut in, ambarrassed. "I've been expecting you". "Have you really?", said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know that babies are my specialty?" "Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped". "Please come in and have a seat". After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me... 06/18/2009

Every time you feel like bitching and complaining, Watch this video. It will help your business! You will put things into perspective-quickly! This is the human spirit over-coming everything that can be thrown at you! http://vodpod.com:80/watch/1165857-walk-on-espn-video This is a "feel good" kinda' blog, I'm glad I wrote it. 06/15/2009

Lawyers. Ya' gotta' love 'em. They'll try anything to twist and turn a phrase to get their client off. There's a book out there called "Disorder in the American Courts"; it contains things people said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of trying to stay calm while these exchanges were taking place. Attorney: This myasthenia gravis; does it affect your memory at all? Witness: Yes. Attorney: And in what way does  it affect your memory? Witness: I forget things. Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example  of something you forgot? Attorney: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning? Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam? Attorney: The youngest son, the twent... 06/15/2009

It is the month of June, a tiny resort town sits next to the shores of a lake. The town looks deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a hundred dollar bill on the reception desk and goes upstairs to inspect the rooms to choose one. The hotel proprietor takes the  hundred dollar bill and runs over to pay his debt to his butcher.       The butcher takes the same 100 dollar bill  and runs                   over to pay his debt to his feed and fuel supplier. The fuel and feed supplier takes the same hundred dollar bill and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute, who in these bad economic times had been supplying her services on credit. The hooker runs to the hotel to pay ... 06/15/2009

 It was announced today by the F.B.I., that new tracking mechanisms are being put into cyber-space to track terrorist activities throught the internet. We are assured that this will be non-intrusive. To better understand how this will work click the link below. http://users.chartertn.net:80/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/ I dunno' this looks pretty intrusive to me! 06/15/2009

The weather in this part of the world has been weird this year to say the least. Spring started out cool and damp, then all of a sudden, some genius decides to hold the annual golf tournament on the hottest day of the year so far. It was blistering hot-about 35C and no breeze. One should not golf in the heat unless one has an electric golf cart with a cooler filled with cold beer. This is an old golf rule I just made up.   In my mind's eye, I played brilliantly, the score card however told quite a different story. I made just enough good shots to bring me back for another round of torment. But it was fun and everyone had a good time.          Some of my co-workers tend to be a little                  competative though at times. There weren't too many "gimmes" handed out. Everybody had ... 06/15/2009

How many of you out there have  encountered this little scenario? You get called out on a listing appointment, you inspect the home, you measure, you take notes, and to the best of your ability, you prepare an in-depth, well-prepared market analysis on the true value of the property based on prevailing market conditions. And your numbers bear your findings out-it is what it is! You don't create the market-the market creates the market! You're trying to look after the best interests of the prospective client.           They're motivated, they want to move and they want the best                           price for their home. So, after a lot of research and work, you make your presentation, carefully going over all the numbers. You make recommendations on the best strategies to market the... 06/15/2009

In a previous blog titled, "On Partnerships", (linked below). http://activerain.com/action/blogs_admin/write/1110252 I mentioned that I had a new partner, and that we are in the process of re-branding. I also mentioned that we work with a lot of Expired listings. See my post, "On Expired Listings and Client Abuse", (linked below). http://activerain.com/action/blogs_admin/write/1109125y Based on feed-back we were getting from expired listings,                            we developed a couple of guarantees. People seem to like them-a lot!        Basically, if we don't do what                 we tell them we're going to do, they can cancel. NO arguments! The key is to never give them an excuse to WANT to cancel. Is that too hard to handle? People have entrusted us with probably their bigge... 06/14/2009

 HUMMER, the iconic vehicle of America's gas-guzzling SUV era. will soon be gone. China's Sichuan Tengzhong Co. has reached an agreement to buy the brand from GM for an undisclosed amount. For some reason this vehicle is considered a status symbol in China-go figure! I don't know about the States but here in Canada, Hummers are one of the vehicles of choice among drug dealers.  Not too far from where I live, there is a scruffy, run-down house with garbage everywhere. And in the front driveway are parked not one, but two, top-of-the-line Hummers. (Not too subtle). Everyone knows this a drug house, but no one can do anything about it apparently. Personally, I've never been a fan of these vehicles. They look like an urban assault machine. There's certainly nothing practical about them unle... 06/13/2009

Some time ago, I wrote a blog about my barber and his antique chair. http://activerain.com/action/blogs_admin/write/926886 Sadly, I learned today that he died. Apparently, went home after a long day, sat in his easy chair and just died! I got to thinking. You know when someone dies, everyone comes out of the woodwork saying how nice so and so was, not a mean bone in his body etc. With this guy, it was true. For the past several years, he and his wife gave up their Christmas days to work in a food kitchen for the homeless, serving those less fortunate. That's the kind of guy he was. A lot of people will surely miss him. 06/13/2009

The other evening, I was watching the movie Revolutionary Road, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, and it dawned on me. Everyone, (the males) was wearing a hat. A fedora. You don't see that much any more.  Back in the 50's and 60's, everyone wore them. Notable hat-wearers included the likes of Gene Kelley, Frank Sinatra, Bogart, FDR and Edward R. Morrow. A fedora is similar to the English version called a "trilby" and has been around since about 1891. The name came from a play written in 1882 by Victorien Sardou, called "Fedora". They come in every colour, but the most popular colours are: Black, grey and tan. Me? I'm a hat wearer. I have several. 3 cowboy stetsons from my days in Alberta, a couple of fedoras, many baseball caps, but my favorite                           of an... 06/09/2009

 Driving around one day, I went through an intersection and saw the traffic camera flash. I thought I'd been had for speeding, but I was pretty sure I hadn't been. Just to be certain, I drove around the block and did it again, being V-E-R-Y careful to stay under the speed limit. The damn camera flashed again! I thought this was a little strange, so I did it again-slower! Camera flash again! I did it a 4th with the same result. The 5th time, I was laughing as I crawled through the intersection at a snail's pace. Flash again! Two, weeks later, I got 5 tickets for not wearing a seat belt! 06/09/2009

Just before the funeral service, the undertaker asked the eldery widow, "How old was your husband?" She replied, "98, two years older than me". "So, you're 96?", the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?" Sure, I've gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostrate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded and subject to blackouts. I have bouts of dementia, have poor circulation, can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I don't  remember if I'm 89 or 98. I've lost all my friends. Thank God, I still have my driver's license.    A reporter, interviewing a 105 year old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing a... 06/09/2009

Something to think about when negative people, do their best to rain on your parade. A client of mine was at her hairdresser's getting styled for a trip to Italy. She mentioned the trip to her hairdresser, who quickly chimed in.. "Italy! Why would you go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Italy! So, how are you getting there?" "We're flying Air Canada", was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Air Canada? Air Canada? That's a terrible air line. The planes are old, the fight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at this exclusive place on the Tiber called Teste." "Don't go any further. I know that place-it's a dump! Everybody is told that it's exclusive, but it's really a dump!" "Also, we're going to the Vatican and we'r... 06/09/2009

 Anybody else out there encountering this problem with first time buyers? I've run into this 3 times last week alone!  Buyers today are on a bit of a roller coaster ride! First time buyers who were looking at buying a couple of years ago      were staying away because housing was booming and affordability           just wasn't there. Now, the boom has gone bust and suddenly,                  housing is within reach. That, coupled with unprecedented                           low mortgage rates has suddenly made owning a                                  home easier. HOWEVER... ...with the economic down-turn, potential buyers are wary. On one hand, the real estate industry is trying to lure buyers with rates so low, that it's actually cheaper to buy than it is to rent. On the other side of... 06/07/2009

The following article came across my desk the other day. Some of you probably don't know what a Brownie camera is so I have added a picture of one. Pretty basic. Very few settings and pretty much "idiot-proof". The following pictures were developed from film found in an old Brownie camera that was stored in a foot locker for 68 years! These photos were taken by a sailor who was on the USS QUAPAW ATF-110 Dateline: December 7th, 1941  After the attack, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto when asked about the success of the attack, is reported to have said: "I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping dragon and fill him with a terrible resolve".   06/07/2009