maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, lik...

  SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to ...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife'...

Luigi (father): 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.'Son: 'I will choose my own bride!!!'Luigi: 'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter..'Son: 'Well, in that case . . . ok'Next Luigi approaches Bill Gates.Luigi: 'I have a husband for your daughter...'Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young t...

An old farmer had owned a large farm for many years.He had a huge man-made pond out back with a beautiful picnic area,For years it was the perfect place to unwind or hold a family get together. As the farmer grew older, his "Oasis" was used less and less. It eventually became the local swimming h...

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than prof...

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, a California archaeologist dug to ...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in New Brunswick. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.   Suddenly, a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting,"I've heard enough of your...

The local news station was interviewing an 84-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband's occupation."He's a funeral director," she...

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted t...