Inna Ivchenko, Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA (Barcode Properties)

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Rainmaker
1,550,080
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

This one reminds me CA real estate TODAY: 

“The real estate in my area is so hot right now, only cats can afford it.

You’ll need nine lives to pay it off.

Jun 24, 2022 12:02 AM
Ambassador
1,864,275
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
A moving experience!

A cannibal goes into a deli and views the offerings.

Doctor's brains - $7.99/lb.
Lawyer's brains - $8.99/lb.
Realtor's brains- $149.99/lb.

He asks the butcher, Why are the Doctor's and Lawyer's brains only $7.99 a pound, but the Realtor's brains are so expensive?

The butcher responds: "Do you know how many Realtors we have to kill to get a full pound of brains?"

rimshot

Jun 24, 2022 08:42 AM
Rainmaker
580,693
Jason E. Gordon
AmeriFirst Financial Inc, San Diego, CA - San Diego, CA
Sr Loan Officer, CMA, CMPS, CDLP, CDRE, RCSD, CDPE

Realtors never retire, they simply become listless

Jun 24, 2022 10:02 AM
Rainer
150,091
Karen Climer
Demetree School of Real Estate - Orlando, FL
Teaching people to pass the real estate exam

What does a house wear?

Address

Jun 24, 2022 06:00 AM
Rainmaker
824,745
Peter den Boer
Atlanta Communities - Woodstock, GA
MBA,GRI, Associate Broker, Realtor

Policeman pulls over a car and walks up to the driver. He says,"Real Estate license please" Driver says don't you mean my drivers license? Officer replies, "Nah, not everyone has a drivers license, but everyone has a real estate license."

Jun 24, 2022 05:16 AM
Ambassador
3,946,829
Brian England
Arizona Focus Realty - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

I think that the discount agents are a joke, does that count?

Jun 24, 2022 04:59 AM
Rainmaker
4,518,838
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Really!! What part of "NO" don't you understand?

Jun 24, 2022 04:25 AM
Rainmaker
2,126,127
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Last week, we had a house listing in your price range but it fell down. (Drum finish) I'll be in the AR lounge all week Inna Ivchenko . Bar keep (ding ding) Another Shirley Temple.. on second thought change it up and make it a Roy Rogers, a double. 

roy rogers mocktail drink

Jun 24, 2022 03:14 AM
Rainmaker
1,364,454
Gary Frimann, CRS, GRI, SRES
Eagle Ridge Realty / Signature Homes & Estates - Gilroy, CA
REALTOR and Broker

Here's one I made up and first mentioned during a committee meeting at my local board (back in 2009):  "The Real Estate market has gotten so bad lately, that even the unlicensed people are leaving the business!"

Jun 24, 2022 09:16 AM
Ambassador
3,147,717
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

 

 

The NAR is the biggest joke I know. 

 

 

Jun 24, 2022 08:12 AM
Rainmaker
1,349,275
Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
& Host of Postcards From Success Podcast

Zillow

 

Jun 24, 2022 01:37 PM
Rainmaker
1,426,200
Ryan Huggins - Thousand Oaks, CA
https://HugginsHomes.com - Thousand Oaks, CA
Residential Real Estate and Investment Properties

Not sure how to word it as a joke, but the 60+ year old realtors who use their high school or college graduation photos on their business cards and signs sure are funny.

Jun 24, 2022 08:52 AM
Rainmaker
939,570
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

What is your favorite jokes about real estate field?

You spelled 'who' wrong, LOLZ

Jun 24, 2022 06:40 AM
Rainmaker
591,088
Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®
Carmel by the Sea, CA
Rothwell Realty Inc. CA#01968433 Carmel-by-the-Sea

Talked to someone who lost their job and figured now was a good time to get into real estate because they love to look at homes.

Jun 25, 2022 12:00 PM
Rainmaker
885,691
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Inna, sorry I don't have any real estate jokes, but I do have a lawyer joke and a brunette joke (as blondes are so picked on).

Jun 24, 2022 03:43 PM
Rainmaker
5,273,978
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

I am not good with any jokes, let alone real estate ones.   I'll be parked and reading.

Jun 24, 2022 06:10 AM
Rainmaker
1,136,456
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

What gives you the power & strength to walk through walls? A door!

Jun 25, 2022 08:05 AM
Rainmaker
688,871
Tony Lewis
Summit Real Estate Group - Valencia, CA
Summit Real Estate Group Valencia & Aliso Viejo

“Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?"

Because he was a loaner.”

Jun 25, 2022 07:32 AM
Rainmaker
694,279
Associate Broker Falmouth MA Cape Cod Heath Coker
https://teamcoker.robertpaul.com - Falmouth, MA
Heath Coker Berkshire Hathaway HS Robert Paul Prop

All we do is show houses - and cash checks.

Jun 25, 2022 07:01 AM