maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Bumper-Stickers Seen On Military Bases: "When in Doubt, Empty The Magazine" "Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!" "Machine Gunners - Accuracy By Volume" "Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything." " U.S. Marines - Certified Counselors to...

 Letter to the Men's Helpline:     Hi Andy, I really need your advice on a serious problem:   I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.  The usual signs:  if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up;  she goes out with the girls a lot.  I try to stay awake ...

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although  not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She  motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to  read her book. The...

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.The next day the kids came back and one-by-one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?", the teacher asked."Yes ma'am," Johnny replied. "My daddy ...

  Oxymorons 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand?3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, how would we ever know?4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?5. Why do we say something is out of whack? Wh...

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stor...

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, ta...

A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol whereupon he asks the drunk'Are...

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm...

  Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ... 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, "Wha...