maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

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ARCHIVED BLOG POSTS

2011 

4 Comments
Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without ...
10/17/2011
1 Comments
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 am, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red ...
10/14/2011
9 Comments
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.There is a hush within the congregation.... no one wants him to leave.Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, ...."If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with...
10/13/2011
4 Comments
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the most part accepted by the congregation.His mentor - a "higher ranking" priest came for a visit - to see how he was doing. After looking the parish over, the senior priest said, "Father John, your idea ...
10/12/2011
3 Comments
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh! Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males , 2 Females," he replied. "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on...
10/11/2011
3 Comments
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've ...
10/10/2011
2 Comments
A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off hisclothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call forme?' The man replie...
10/07/2011
3 Comments
  Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically' A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. T...
10/06/2011
5 Comments
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next doo...
10/04/2011
3 Comments
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset aboutthis and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze." "The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "W...
10/03/2011
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