maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to ...

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said,  "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual expe...

This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above "You will live to be 100." She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100." Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live! So off she w...

An elderly Jewish gentleman who’s name isMori had serious hearing problems for a number of years. So he went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your ...

Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section.FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of encyclopaedia Britannica.45 Volumes. Excellent condition.1000 dollars or best offer.Reason for sale: No longer required.Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.

  The true meaning of male statements Statement: "I'm a Romantic."True Meaning: "I'm poor."Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."True Meaning: "So I can tell my frie...

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, lik...

  SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to ...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife'...

Luigi (father): 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.'Son: 'I will choose my own bride!!!'Luigi: 'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter..'Son: 'Well, in that case . . . ok'Next Luigi approaches Bill Gates.Luigi: 'I have a husband for your daughter...'Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young t...