maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads: 40-ish ........................ 49. Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone. Athletic ...................... No breasts Average looking .......... Moooo. Beautiful .................... Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure ... On medication. Fe...

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems fine, but after awhile ...

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center . Claude the hypnotist exclaimed, "I'm here to put you into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful, antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you ea...

RED SKELTON'S Recipe for the Perfect Marriage:1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..3. I take my wife everywhere, b...

Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.She said "are you nuts? You're 72 years old and you're going to st...

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David Bissonette After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The guy knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." He walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a b...

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate whe...

A B-grade film producer came up with an idea to make an action movie about 19th century composers. So he approached 3 well know action movie stars and told them of his idea. Sylvestor Stallone, Jean Claude Van-Damme and Arnold Schwarzenegger all thought it was a great idea and aggreed to star in ...

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have...