maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good  morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go ...

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective."With a golf gun," the other detective replied."A golf gun! What is a golf gun?""I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up an...

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.Shortly thereafter he met a father who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that...

Yesterday my wife asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.She said "are you nuts? You're 72 years old and you're going to st...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.  They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard.  They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. 'I realize it's t...

He said to me... Why are married women heavier than single women?I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

The Butler is not Jewish A Jewish couple in  London  won twenty-million pounds  in the lottery.They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very ...

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when through a gap in the door he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the l...

Science Translations: The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science, medicine, and even security analyst's reports. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere! "I...