ARCHIVED BLOG POSTS
2010
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How To Start Each Day With A Positive Outlook 1. Open a new folder in your computer. 2. Name it 'Barack Obama'. 3. Send it to the Recycle Bin. 4. Empty the Recycle Bin. 5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?' 6. Firmly Click 'Yes.' 7. Feel better? GOOD! ...
09/16/2010
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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or hismarriage, he paid her a large sum of money, if she would go to Italy to secretly have the chil...
09/15/2010
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Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead.. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an...
09/14/2010
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There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven!'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.'The pri...
09/13/2010
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At a synagogue in New York City, they have marriage seminars for the community. Some are for women, some for their husbands and some they attend together. At the men's seminar last week, the rabbi asked Schlomo about his marriage. Schlomo replied that he had been married for almost 50 years...
09/10/2010
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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and bein...
09/09/2010
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A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited....
09/08/2010
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One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your rump."His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning t...
09/07/2010
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There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the cas...
09/07/2010
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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there alread...
09/04/2010