maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Larry the Lobster and Sam Crab were some fantastic musicians on the disco circuit. They jammed for many years till one night, after a gig and a few beers, they stepped out of a club and were run down and killed by a Mack truck. Larry the Lobster goes to heaven and Sam Crab goes to hell.One day La...

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers ...... and they WILL breed.Q. Name the four seasonsA. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegarQ. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drinkA. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because...

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses h...

Grampa and Billy were working out in the garden. Grampa spies Billy trying to put a worm back into the ground. "You'll never get that worm back in his hole," said the old man. Suddenly, Billy had an idea. He ran into the laundry room and came back with a can of spray starch.After a few sprays, th...

A married couple of many years are in bed together, and the woman feels the husband's hand under her leg, says "Oh boy, this is going to be a pleasant evening." A little bit later she feels his hand under her behind, and says, "Now, this is like the old days!" Finally, she feels his hand around h...

As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room. But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, "Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it."

The Banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a 'Mail Order Bride.' Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom '...

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.*This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.*This is when you have been with your par...

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.Kind of makes you proud. Almost feel like a hybrid.

 It seems that  an older, white-haired man walked into  a jewelry store this  past Friday  evening with a beautiful, much younger gal at his side. He told the  jeweler he was  looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his  stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.   The...