maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 65.) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drin...

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way. I don't think you can pay for it. " The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink? " The bartender says, "Only if what you ...

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in the class laughed.My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happ...

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as...

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say aboutfolks from Texas ... If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas ; If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas ; If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with so...

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual....

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat.""What's that mean?" asked the child."Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around ...