maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little...

He said to me...I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. I said to him...You wear pants don't you?   He said to me...Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said...that's a good idea-you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but  fart.   He s...

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to Hell and Tiger Woods went to Heaven.The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in Hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error."However", the clerk explai...

The following were purportedly taken off of actual police car videos around the USA..."Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.""So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?""Yes, Sir, ...

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners to fifth graders asked her students the following question:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"Michael said, "Just a minute I have t...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he...

There was a couple who was about to get married. Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and both died. As they were standing at the gates of heaven talking to St. Peter they explained their plight and asked could they get married in heaven.St. Peter said, "Wait here," and left.He was gone...

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a...

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she pre...

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means? You'll know tonight.... he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Del...