maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

SMART ASS  Answers of 2009!! SMART ASS ANSWER #6It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.SMART ASS ANSWER #5A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gat...

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said .."Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu.""Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon" said Jung Lee."Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I l...

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, ...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that...

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make i...

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked ...

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing ...

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue busines...

A burglar broke into a house one Christmas night looking for presents when the family was not home. He shined his flashlight around, looking, when a voice in the dark said,'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.When he heard nothing more...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "...