maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Two old guys, Rodger and Chuck, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Rodger didn't show up.Chuck didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Rodger hadn't shown up for a week or so, Chuck real...

A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol whereupon he asks the drunk'Are...

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.  He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, ...

Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysteria's and Posteriors". This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the c...

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde ."Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie...""I didn't ...

REPLACEMENT WINDOWS Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. Helllo...

At work there were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde, who worked together at the office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too. Near the end of the day...

Useless Facts1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F.2. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."3. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.4. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.5. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.6. Studies show ...

 The Worlds Shortest Books NEGROS I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING by Tiger Woods ______________________________________________  THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY  by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated  by Michael Moore ________________________________________ MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &HOW I HELPED...

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business.  He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.  That took an awfu...