maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided    that he really needed a new robe.  After looking around for    a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor..   So, he went in and made the necessary arrangements to    have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days    later, ...

Town Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, "Before we order, could you please...

Marriage A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and niticed that her husband isn't in bed anymore.She gets up and goes down to check out where he is. She finds him staring at the wall, tears in his eyes.She askes: "what's going on, darling?"After a while he answers: " Do you remember the fir...

Car Accident A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, her husband offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the surgery and was as beautif...

>     What>     Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?> Ever wonder about>     those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We> have all been to>     those meetings where someone wants you to give over> 100%. How about>     achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?> >    ...

A US Army soldier A US Army soldier sat in a bar with his head in his hands having just finished his first day of Airborne training. His buddy sat down on the stool next to him and asked him what was the matter."I just finished my first day in Airborne training and it didn't go too well", he sigh...

The Cruise A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend. The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and reservations were very tight at that moment, but that he would see what he could do.A couple of days later, the travel agent p...

Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.. Female....... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male..... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICA...

Market research A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a Young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." "And if you ...

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It  was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.When the Godfather ...