ARCHIVED BLOG POSTS
Due to the fact that Michael Jackson is 99% plastic, he will be melted down into lego blocks so that little kids can play with him for a change.
At workA pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. When the...
Political Science for Dummies Political Science for Dummies DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful.Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.So?SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and ...
Political Correctness Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
Why gas is cheaper in the South.A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Win Free Sex with Fill-Up!'A local blond redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he gue...
Spring Classes for Women Spring Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTERREGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Tuesday, May 19, 2009NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.Class 1Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How ...
Sunburn A man passed out on the beach in Miami for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns With his skin already starting to blister, and the sev...
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be president some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd gi...
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some badnews. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself andwalk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate whe...
Slacker Harley Davidson, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.He ...