Danny Garcia's (ogdannyg) Blog

Real Estate Agent - Real Estate Practices Class 3:30-5:55
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Re...
A real estate agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double." The real estate agent ...
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow." The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can sho...
Commission Check An agent who was being paid by the week approached his office manager and held up his last paycheck. 'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said. 'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.' 'Well, I ...
A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent, "I want to sell my god damn house." To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my Freaken  “F” N ...
You might, ask what do two sisters and an orange have to do with negotiation?  To explain: there is a story of two sisters who lived together.  One sister, saw the other in the kitchen and asked what she was doing.  Sister 2 replied, I need an orange.  Sister one laughed and said....me too!  Unfo...
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The...
Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired Agent? For the chronically absent: "A man like him is hard to find." "It seemed her career was just taking off." For the office drunk: "I feel his real talent is wasted here." "We generally found him loaded with work to do." "Every hour wit...
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer hi...
A very successful Real Estate Broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my Real Estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day a...

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