Larry B Gray

 After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo ( he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, your Eminence, "says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "...

  Courteous Passenger:The bus was very crowded when the young lady got on and a gentleman attempted to rise. She pushed him back gently and he tried to rise once more. No, no, thank you! she murmured, pushing him back again. Please let me get up, lady he protested. I'm already two blocks past my ...

  A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see eachvchild's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said,...

   Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and  nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless...

  A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?""Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?""Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixi...

  Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.  He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV... The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.  The blonde looked at Jack and said,  "Do yo...

  A married couple was shopping at the supermarket when the husband picked up a 12 pack of beer and put it in the cart."What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife."Yhey're on sale for $10 for 12 cans," he explained."Put them back," she demanded. "We can't afford it."A few aisles later, she p...

  An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.  The banker pulled out the loan application. "What are you going to do with the money?" he asks the Indian."Buy Silver, make jewelry, and sell it," was the response."What have you got for collateral?""Don't know collateral," replied the Indian"Well...

  In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

 In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

 In 19...

  I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was som...