Jason Stewart's Blog

Real Estate Agent - Stewart Estates
·         Sometimes you'll look down at your watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.   ·         Always wear nice underwear, you never know when you might get lucky or need a doctor.   ·         Someday you will miss Today   ·         Just remember...if the world didn't suck...
1. Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?   2. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third ...
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom a...
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.  ...
No name perfume which charges you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to purchase her perfume, spring for the brand names. Do not give her gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know ...
Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus: 10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future" 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call "my new office,...
10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up three sizes, that would've fit. 9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me. 8. Perfect for wearing in the basement. 7. Well, well, well... 6. I really don't deserve this. 5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire! 4. I Love i...
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke...
If you're like most of my clients, you're hungry to work with that powerful Generation Y demographic as both potential customers and as employees. But, like many of the business coaches, leaders and authors I work with, you still may be pounding your head against a wall when trying to connect wit...
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me."...

Jason Stewart

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